Or should we say dating in-confidence?
You may have never thought you'd be dating with incontinence, but here you are. Let us be the first to tell you – you're not the only one! That's why we've put together a few tips in the form of a Q&A to help you start dating with confidence, even if you're incontinent.
When you first start dating (again), don't worry about telling anyone about your incontinence upfront. You'll run the risk of potential dates declining to get to know you. But, like any medical condition, once they've developed a relationship with you, this news won't be a dealbreaker.
Remember, the beginning stages of dating is a social interaction, not an intimate one. So there's no need to put this on your profile or tell anyone on the first date. Just have fun with the people you're meeting and focus on finding someone you can have a genuine connection with. It might seem daunting to you, but the right person isn't going to mind that you're incontinent. We've heard it from men and women alike – incontinence is a non-issue for many people when they're romantically involved. Just check out this archived Reddit post on the topic!
After a few great dates, when you know you want to invest in the relationship, but before you start to get physical – this is the perfect time to tell your date. It's not until you've established a connection that you'll want to share your medical condition with your date.
You've made it past a few bad dates and found someone you want to spend more time with. Congratulations – that's half the struggle! But naturally, you're nervous about telling your new date that you have incontinence.
Depending on your communication style, you might try telling your date a few different ways (which we've highlighted below). But whatever you do, be authentic to yourself inhow you tell them – whether that be with sincerity or humour depends on you! Here are a few ideas, choose what works for you and leave the rest:
Remember that dating with incontinence probably bothers you more than it bothers your partner. A good quality person will accept the news more easily than you might expect.
Avoid alcohol, caffeine, carbonation, and citrus on the first few dates, as they can irritate your bladder and cause accidents. Also read out post on how to deal with incontinence in a bathing suit if you're planning a beach or lakefront retreat together.
Use a PeapodMat during sex to help you absorb any accidental leaks. This mat is leakproof, machine washable, and reusable, so you can share intimate evenings over and over (...and over). Lucky you!